Bonus post! Kind, kind words from this-is-the-plan, who’s always posting fun, cute gifs and whathaveyous that will get a chuckle or smile out of any bad day. Or a smile out of a bad month (like MAY 2012 STUPIDEST MONTH EVER) with her above compliment! Thank you! :3
My fur burger arrived in Oslo, Norway, with just absolutely no freaking sleep. You’d think the booze would counteract her hairs-on-end excitement enough to snooze a bit, BUT SHE WAS REALLY REALLY REALLY EXCITED. It was actually a good thing in the end, because if you stay up all day, and then sack it super hard (and you know my fur burger loves sackin’ it hard…), the next day you have narrowly escaped the grips of jet lag. Not that jet lag would’ve stopped us, either. It’s Oslo, Norway. It’s Scandinavia. There might be Vikings here, and we’ve already discussed my fur burger and hot, foreign beardies. We’re just not in Canada this time.
Anyhow, there will be tons of building shots, because Oslo had a lot of “postcard” architecture and city layout. It also had THE HIGHEST COST OF LIVING/TOURISTING OF ANY PLACE MY FUR BURGER HAS EVER SET FOOT IN OH MY FREAKING FUCKS.
BusinessWeek fuckin’ says dis shit fuckin’ spensive (#2 ranked city in June 2011):
Beer at a bar: $13.18
Kilogram of rice: $6.10
Dozen eggs: $8.50
Movie theater ticket: $18.80
“Norway’s capital is a major hub for trade, shipping, and finance and is home to the Oslo Stock Exchange. Oslo has ranked among the world’s most expensive cities for years, which is not surprising when a quick lunch costs about $45 and a dozen eggs, $8.50.”
Now that May, the stupidest month of 2012 thusfar (WHO AGREES WITH ME?! EVERYONE?! YES, THANK YOU.), we can get back to doing what we love to do best - staring at my fur burger until she does something fun and exciting!
And what’s more exciting than my fur burger’s first international plane ride? NOT A DAMN THING, I TELL YOU. Of course, we were flying into the night, and she was in the middle row (first time in a plane with a middle row, too!), so there aren’t any cool pictures out the airplane windows and into the majestic clouds and all that noise. HOWEVER, we do have pictures of the free booze (or, more likely, “included in the crazy cost of airfare nowadays” booze - but, count it) we got for before/during our meal. We flew SAS, and made a list of ways that was a baller flight:
1. Gin and tonics before dinner.
2. Choice of dinner wine.
3. Delightful vegetarian meal with actual fruits and vegetables (see above: better than the lazy vegetarian meals my fur burger makes!).
4. Sherlock Holmes on back-of-seat video screen, which also had several other movies, music, and knock-off Space Invaders game.
5. Water bottle, blanket, and pillow (they might be standards for international, but it was new to her, okay?).
6. Newspapers in a variety of languages I couldn’t read, magazines galore!
7. SHERLOCK FRICKING HOLMES.
8. Queen was playing in the Stockholm airport for the win.
Anyhow, excited to get this shizz rollin’! Sorry May was a big fail month, June’s got some awesome potential, though, dontchathink? My fur burger is ready to rub her adventures all up in your sexy face…with love, of course.
Hey, friends! Thank you for understanding the absence of posts this week, as my family celebrates the life and mourns the death of my grandpa/papou. Here’s a teaser that proves we went to Europe, and we’ll be back Monday!
“We chose the historic John St. Roundhouse, just south of the CN Tower, to house our world class brewery. The Roundhouse had functioned as a Canadian Pacific Rail steam locomotive repair facility when built in 1929 servicing steam locomotives that helped pioneer this nation. The “John St. Polish” was a term for the renowned gleam of the mighty engines that rolled out from here. There’s a taste of Canadian history in every bottle we fill - a reflection of the hard work and pride within.”
I think what my fur burger liked most about this cathedral of booze, Steamwhistle Brewery, was this awesome story about how the owners managed to obtain this building, how they decided to completely rebuild it - but to the exact specifications of the old one, down to the brick…and how, in the end, they actually had two bricks leftover…
Beautiful place, great location, fantastic beer!
So sorry, friends, I have some family things going on right now that are putting my mind everywhichway. Yesterday I didn’t have the concentration to make breakfast for two hours. It was rough.
Anyhow, if you’re wondering what this picture is…this is as close as my fur burger got to Aziz Ansari. Basically, the first thing he said when he came onstage was that photos and autographs afterwards wouldn’t happen. MY GOOD SIR, I DON’T THINK YOU REALIZE THAT I PUT MY FUR BURGER THROUGH THE WASHER AND DRYER FOR THIS. She got all silly and wet and poofy - it was afuckingdorable. Especially the tumble-dry cycle.
So, here’s the result: Us, on the balcony, in a small theatre full of sweaty, stinky, drunk college students (which, hey, happens in Madison, ha ha), with what appears to be Fur Burger’s tiny hairs quasi-poking a whited-out-could-be-anyone-in-the-world-but-i-swear-it-was-his face.
But it’s okay, because we went to the Great Dane Brewery where my still-wet-because-she-didn’t-have-enough-time-to-full-dry-and-so-was-still-engorged fur burger got something nice (and an epic hot chocolate).
Dear Aziz Ansari,
I know you are a busy, talented, awesome man. And I know maybe you’ll be tired after your show, but my fur burger has been a good lady all year long. She has been kind and forthright, sweet, and has given love to her community. She’ll also be coming (pun not intended!) all the way from Chicago! Which isn’t too far, but still.
So if you’re signing autographs/taking pictures tonight, and we manage to get through the swarm, you maybeperhapspossibly do her the honor of a picture?
We’ll see what happens!
Sincerely,
Kym, on behalf of her Fur Burger
P.S. She cleans up nice, too!
Hey, look! We’re caught up! Sorry about that.
So before heading to the brewery, my wise, adult fur burger decided it would behoove us to eat something greasy before more drinking. And, wouldn’t you know it, Canada has already created the best pre-drinking, during drinking, and hangover food: POUTINE. French fries with warm gravy and melted cheese curds = a pile of awesome that turns your stomach to IRON. And while, as a giant newblet, I forgot to grab a picture of the poutine itself, here are some CROTCHES they had posted at Church Street Diner (doors from our lackluster accommodations in the otherwise wonderful gayborhood of Toronto) - where we had DOWNRIGHT SCRUMPTIOUS POUTINE.
So my fur burger decided we need to finish up Toronto, Canada, before we move onto the Scandinavian Scandscapades. And since my fur burger is the boss of me, we shall continue. No spoilers. We’re almost to it, impatient ones.
Our indiscriminate wine tastes lead us to choose a winery at random, which happened to be a lovely little family-owned place called Harbour Estates Winery. They have beautiful fields of grapes that they just let any ol’ rando walk through unattended, so we got some pretty nice pictures! One of my fur burger’s intimate friends told her about “ice wine”, a sweet, syrupy dessert wine made (with some strict Canadian standards, wikipedia is telling me I KNEW ALREADY) from grapes frozen on the vine. So we decided to go inside the production area/smaller sales floor/adorable little flowery bathroom to see if we could find some and get a taste!
Guess who’s back! And guess who sucks at posting after the horrible disappointment of returning to realize that she still works in dignity-destroying food service? Well, titties.
Less self-pity, more punk-ass backlogging!
This week in photos (and real life, see above shattering realities) revolves around booze. Booze booze booze. Here’s my fur burger participating in a rousing game of Just The Tipsy. On our way back from Niagara Falls, we found Canadian wine country. You know we had to get us a good, consensual look up a winery’s skirt to see where boozies come from! ;)
This is simultaneously a photo to depict the beauty of Niagara Falls despite a rather cloudy, misty day, and a shameless ad for Tim Horton’s.
Haha, kidding, my fur burger isn’t endorsed by anyone THOUGH THAT WOULD BE G-DANG HILARIOUSLY AMAZING. ANY TAKERS?!
No? Aww. I mean, NAH, my junk isn’t for sale ANYWAY.
Someone advised us to go to Tim Horton’s because it’s apparently a BFD up there. And in Michigan or something. Was pretty solid, had a cruller with my coffee. Can’t tell if that’s my favorite doughnut because it’s soft and moist and glazed, or because of a “coffee and crullers STAT” perpetual Wayne’s World reference that goes on in my head. Either way, that for breakfast plus a wondrous misty Niagara Falls (Canada edition) make for a pleasant morning before ALL THE BOOZE WE BOUGHT AND DRANK IN THE AFTERNOON.
A winery AND a brewery, starting Monday! Also, maybe a spoiler picture of Scandinavia or two. Or maybe not. My fur burger is such a freakin’ tease!
